Liverpool are set to sign Australian goalkeeper Dean Bouzanis who is only 16. Good one, roll on the kids...
George Gillett is confident of completing a £500million takeover of Liverpool. No thanks - we're already sorted for sugardaddies!
Spurs want to end Peter Crouch's Merseyside hell and bring the striker back to London. Sorry People, what Merseyside Hell is that? He's banging in overhead kicks!
Steve Heighway believes Liverpool could have a real prospect on their hands in new signing 16-year-old Swede Astrit Ajdarevic (pictured). And he looks like Paddy Berger.